Abuse is any behavior that is used to control or quash another human being with fear, humiliation, manipulation, intimidation, guilt, criticism etc. Emotional abuse employs verbal and psychological tactics rather than physical ones. Sometimes it can be blatant while other times it can be quite subtle and hard to detect. Chronic devaluing and shaming gradually tugs away at the victim’s psyche leaving long-lasting, sometimes lifelong scars. The abused feels worthless and deserving [click to continue…]
Maggie, a single thirty-six year old teacher, began each school year feeling energized and optimistic. Once daylight savings time arrived, her mood spiraled downward. Invariably in the weeks following the winter break Maggie’s energy dragged. It became harder for her to get out of bed in the morning and her enthusiasm for work subsided.
Maggie told me she hibernated in the winter. By each February her level of fatigue felt deep and relentless. Her social life suffered to the point that she did not attend social activities because getting together with friends required too much effort. She essentially isolated herself during the darkest months yet felt deep pangs of loneliness. [click to continue…]
How do you let go of the hurt that another person has inflicted on you?
Robin grew up with an older brother that sexually abused her for years, when their parents were sleeping or not home for the evening. Erik, 15 at the time of the first episode, was left to care for his 12 year old sister. He warned her that he would call her a liar or worse if she ever told. For almost three years, until Erik left home, Robin endured his abuse. No one ever found out until she came to therapy. [click to continue…]
“How do I choose the right therapist for me and get the support I need?” When you or someone you know is hurting inside or needs additional support, there are people and resources that can help. The questions I would like to address here are: how do you find the best mental health assistance during a difficult time? What criteria do you look for in choosing a therapist?
The truth is a good therapist is not necessarily measured by her or his training, degree, license, orientation or official listing. While all of these factors do matter, the ultimate test for who is the best match for you depends primarily on the connection felt during the initial meeting. A good therapist should have trained listening skills, be nonjudgmental, be patient and have an accepting attitude. It is important that you feel a sense of comfort and trust. Your gut reaction is probably the truest barometer for knowing if a fit with a particular therapist is a good one. [click to continue…]