What steps can we take to give up a grudge and forgive someone who has hurt, disappointed, or betrayed us?
The following strategy model for learning forgiveness is derived from an amalgam of work by several researchers and my own work as a psychologist:
1. Look deeply into the root of your anger or grudge. Explore the situation honestly without embellishing or rearranging the details. Pay attention to how this anger is holding you back and keeping you hostage in your own day-to-day [click to continue…]
The holiday season is a time of joy and a time of stress. The pressure to be exuberant amidst winter’s darkness often leads to a feeling of disconnect for many. This year is especially difficult, as Hurricane Sandy came hurling to the Northeast region leaving the ravages of flooding, loss of power for millions, billions of dollars in damaged homes and businesses, and lost lives. How do we feel grateful in the face of loss?
So many that have faced the devastation of Sandy have also been blessed by the loving kindness of others. The truth is our lives are composed of a constellation of complicated feelings and they come bubbling forth at a time like this, even if [click to continue…]
Forgiveness transforms anger and hurt into healing and peace. Forgiveness can help you overcome depression, anxiety, rage as well as personal, and relational conflicts. It is about making the conscious decision to let go of a grudge. Why would anyone want to forgive someone who has wronged her in the past? It is not about letting someone off the hook for a wrongdoing, or forgetting about the past, or [click to continue…]
Archives of research reveal that women of all ages and circumstances have feelings of isolation, inadequacy and the fear of sharing their personal stories. It is important to find trustworthy people who will listen without judgment, enhancing our willingness to self-disclose. Ideally, the person you choose to [click to continue…]
What does it mean to be in the moment? How can you learn to be truly present rather than simply getting through another day on automatic pilot?
The truth is today is not just another day. It is the only day that you can count on. There are no guarantees about tomorrow or the day after. We, as humans, plan and the universe laughs. The moment you are in is the gift and your best response is to be open to whatever “is” today. The rest is in the past or in your wishes and fantasies about the [click to continue…]
Give yourself and your loved ones the best gift of all by focusing on the magic and true spirit of the holiday season. Often busyness, expectations and multitasking eclipse the essence of the holidays. Savor the holiday season and create new memories.
Here are 10 ways to maximize this merry month:
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Rachel developed gratitude in the face of personal loss. She learned one of the secrets to becoming happier and more optimistic. Rachel changed the way she perceived herself and others by incorporating a greater sense of appreciation into her daily life.
She found herself going to bed each night feeling a sense of loss, anger and loneliness. Rachel recently ended her three-year relationship with her charming and quite handsome live-in boyfriend after discovering through a trusted girlfriend that Richard had been repeatedly unfaithful. Everyone seemed to know but Rachel.
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My heart weighed heavy this week. Empty nest pangs gnawing at me yet again. My two college age children headed back to their respective schools in upstate New York and Delaware. I cherished our time together as a family during their summer break as never before. No fancy vacations, no beach time together, none of our usual summer rituals. This summer was devoted to helping Mom get back on her feet after a difficult surgery and reviving her usual active life.
The golden lining of this challenging time was experiencing the depth of love and compassion that deeply bonds our family together. I did not fully appreciate [click to continue…]
Cheryl possesses a smile that lights up a room. It’s an undeniable blend of mischief, optimism and a great sense of humor. She knows her share of pain and loss and yet she’s somehow figured out the key to maintaining a consistently positive mental attitude, with only the occasional lapses into turbulence.
A breast cancer survivor, Cheryl is the embodiment of the healing powers of friendship. The Brownie slogan “make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold” truly resonates with her. Friendships throughout Cheryl’s childhood as well as her high school and college years became an influential and important part [click to continue…]
Three days post hip replacement surgery a small team with a large ambulance transported me to a rehabilitation facility. While there, I began to heal from the invasive procedure and relearn the act of walking.
Handfuls of medications came periodically throughout the day. One hour before physical therapy, pain medication was generously doled out so that I could tolerate the pain from the simplest [click to continue…]