Winston Churchill once said, “The maxim ‘nothing but perfection’ may be spelled ‘paralysis.’” We’ve probably all met perfectionists in our lives, and know how difficult life can be for them and those around them. Perfectionism is the internalized belief that mistakes cannot be made and that the highest standards of performance in [click to continue…]
What steps can we take to give up a grudge and forgive someone who has hurt, disappointed, or betrayed us?
The following strategy model for learning forgiveness is derived from an amalgam of work by several researchers and my own work as a psychologist:
1. Look deeply into the root of your anger or grudge. Explore the situation honestly without embellishing or rearranging the details. Pay attention to how this anger is holding you back and keeping you hostage in your own day-to-day [click to continue…]
Forgiveness transforms anger and hurt into healing and peace. Forgiveness can help you overcome depression, anxiety, rage as well as personal, and relational conflicts. It is about making the conscious decision to let go of a grudge. Why would anyone want to forgive someone who has wronged her in the past? It is not about letting someone off the hook for a wrongdoing, or forgetting about the past, or [click to continue…]
Have you ever felt so alone that you think no one in the world understands you? Do you find it difficult to share personal information with others?
Believe it or not, there is a link between the willingness to share your story and your mental health. However, more women find self-disclosure challenging than you might think.
Although the media and Hollywood portray some women as ‘drama queens’ and ‘open books’, the truth is that many women suffer in [click to continue…]
Years ago, I directed the Stress Management Department at the Pain Unit of Boston’s Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital. My first mind-blowing exposure to addiction came when a diabetic patient communicated her physician’s warning that if she did not stop smoking, she risked having her legs amputated. Several days thereafter she was discharged from the pain unit. Three months later she returned to the hospital, this time with stubs for legs. Still she continued to smoke [click to continue…]
Archives of research reveal that women of all ages and circumstances have feelings of isolation, inadequacy and the fear of sharing their personal stories. It is important to find trustworthy people who will listen without judgment, enhancing our willingness to self-disclose. Ideally, the person you choose to [click to continue…]
Roberta tragically lost her father in a freak accident when she was eighteen years old. Her mother took the reins and controlled Roberta’s life by making her stay at home and work for the family business, rather than going off to college as planned. To escape her mother’s firm grip, Roberta married at the age of twenty and began her family. Five children later Roberta found herself depressed and lonely, although she loved her family. She neglected [click to continue…]
“We have to recover the art of making ourselves central,” said Gloria Steinem addressing more than 6,500 women at the 6th annual Massachusetts Conference for Women earlier this month. The keynote speakers included the renowned Gloria Steinem, Victoria Reggie Kennedy, Elizabeth Lesser, Judge Glenda Hatchett, Christy Turlington Burns and Tory Johnson. The focus was on women [click to continue…]
We hear about cutting in the media when celebrities like Angelina Jolie, Princess Diana, and Courtney Love, to name a few, come forward. We may learn of instances of cutting in our communities, but it remains a poorly understood and difficult to treat behavior. Yet cutting is becoming more prevalent in young women.
Rachel is 16 years old. Her tall, slightly overweight body conveyed awkwardness and her learning disability only made matters [click to continue…]