Winston Churchill once said, “The maxim ‘nothing but perfection’ may be spelled ‘paralysis.’” We’ve probably all met perfectionists in our lives, and know how difficult life can be for them and those around them. Perfectionism is the internalized belief that mistakes cannot be made and that the highest standards of performance in [click to continue…]
What steps can we take to give up a grudge and forgive someone who has hurt, disappointed, or betrayed us?
The following strategy model for learning forgiveness is derived from an amalgam of work by several researchers and my own work as a psychologist:
1. Look deeply into the root of your anger or grudge. Explore the situation honestly without embellishing or rearranging the details. Pay attention to how this anger is holding you back and keeping you hostage in your own day-to-day [click to continue…]
Forgiveness transforms anger and hurt into healing and peace. Forgiveness can help you overcome depression, anxiety, rage as well as personal, and relational conflicts. It is about making the conscious decision to let go of a grudge. Why would anyone want to forgive someone who has wronged her in the past? It is not about letting someone off the hook for a wrongdoing, or forgetting about the past, or [click to continue…]
Have you ever felt so alone that you think no one in the world understands you? Do you find it difficult to share personal information with others?
Believe it or not, there is a link between the willingness to share your story and your mental health. However, more women find self-disclosure challenging than you might think.
Although the media and Hollywood portray some women as ‘drama queens’ and ‘open books’, the truth is that many women suffer in [click to continue…]
Years ago, I directed the Stress Management Department at the Pain Unit of Boston’s Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital. My first mind-blowing exposure to addiction came when a diabetic patient communicated her physician’s warning that if she did not stop smoking, she risked having her legs amputated. Several days thereafter she was discharged from the pain unit. Three months later she returned to the hospital, this time with stubs for legs. Still she continued to smoke [click to continue…]