A clip from my talk on resilience, healthy relationships, and transformation in Boston, Massachusetts.
“To forgive and forget” is a prevailing idiom in our culture, but for most of us it is hard for us to truly let go and move forward in our lives. When dealing with a conflict, we need to let go of a past hurt, so that we can propel ourselves to a place of higher understanding and loving awareness. Forgiveness means giving up the anger or suffering of the past and being willing to forge ahead with far greater potential for inner freedom. As Mahatma Ghandi once said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
A stunning example of how forgiveness can transform anger and hurt into healing and peace is the incredible story of DUI awareness advocates Renee Napier and Eric Smallridge. In 2002, [click to continue…]
From the time we young, most people recognize that giving gifts feels just as good, if not better than, the gratitude that comes from receiving them. In fact, the exchange of gifts and gratitude is part of what makes this time of year so special to cultures all around the world. The relationship between these two expressions of love is intertwined, a bond that keeps us connected. According to leading gratitude researcher Dr. Robert Emmons, the idea of receiving a gift is central to the experience of gratitude. When we feel deeply grateful, we feel [click to continue…]
The holiday season is a time of joy and a time of stress. The pressure to be exuberant amidst winter’s darkness often leads to a feeling of disconnect for many. This year is especially difficult, as Hurricane Sandy came hurling to the Northeast region leaving the ravages of flooding, loss of power for millions, billions of dollars in damaged homes and businesses, and lost lives. How do we feel grateful in the face of loss?
So many that have faced the devastation of Sandy have also been blessed by the loving kindness of others. The truth is our lives are composed of a constellation of complicated feelings and they come bubbling forth at a time like this, even if [click to continue…]
Forgiveness transforms anger and hurt into healing and peace. Forgiveness can help you overcome depression, anxiety, rage as well as personal, and relational conflicts. It is about making the conscious decision to let go of a grudge. Why would anyone want to forgive someone who has wronged her in the past? It is not about letting someone off the hook for a wrongdoing, or forgetting about the past, or [click to continue…]
Bess was a 34-year-old, attractive, single, accomplished attorney living in the Boston area.* She lived comfortably in her condo, managed her finances, had no close friends and a succession of unfulfilling relationships with men. She struggled to sustain connections with others and often felt quite lonely. Only at work did she feel empowered and on her game. Bess could not figure out what got in the way of her establishing better relationships. Time was passing her by and [click to continue…]
Years ago, I directed the Stress Management Department at the Pain Unit of Boston’s Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital. My first mind-blowing exposure to addiction came when a diabetic patient communicated her physician’s warning that if she did not stop smoking, she risked having her legs amputated. Several days thereafter she was discharged from the pain unit. Three months later she returned to the hospital, this time with stubs for legs. Still she continued to smoke [click to continue…]
More than three decades ago I had the opportunity of meeting the iconic Ram Dass for the first time on Martha’s Vineyard at a satsung. Satsung is a Sanskrit word that means “gathering together for truth,” which usually involves teaching, music and meditation. This evening rocked my world in a subtle yet profound way.
Ram Dass, formerly known as Dr. Richard Alpert, the eminent Harvard psychologist and psychedelic pioneer, traveled to India in 1967 where he met his guru, Neem Karoli Baba. It was he who gave Ram Dass his name, which means [click to continue…]
Waking up in the morning to a clean, de-cluttered space brings me a sense of balance and happiness. Even when my children were young I managed to maintain a space where I could sit, if only for a few precious moments and enjoy the calm and peace of a minimalist space.
Of course we all know that life is messy business and cannot really be controlled. There are however ways to make daily life less stressful. Getting rid of extra stuff is one of the keys to [click to continue…]
As human beings we often dream of living better, more fulfilling lives. We wish to create lives for ourselves and our families that are happy, purposeful and passionate. We can not only dream about creating more gratifying lives, but we also possess the cognitive ability to strategize and plan to achieve [click to continue…]